Saturday, 7 August 2010

everything's not lost.

It seems like I start every post in this way, but I have to say it anyway; it's truly sad to think about how long it's been since I wrote on here.

I guess a few things have happened since I last updated...

I got married. I had an awesome honeymoon in the
land "Where Dreams Come True," Disney World. A little over a year ago, I moved to Connecticut and got a job at an insurance company that will not be named. I just started a new career path over there, which I am very thankful for. Oh, and my Mac crashed about a month ago and I lost about 3000 photos from the last three years and all of my iTunes music. Word. And I got a haircut. I actually got a few hairs cut.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

Exhibit D:

So now that I've caught you up on that, we can talk about much more relevant things than my evolving hairstyles.

No one really prepares you in college for what life after it is going to be like. And, I suppose it might be different for everybody. Being an artist, it was difficult to adjust to an insurance call center job, using zero creativity and being tied down to a strict minute-by-minute schedule. Being married and having responsibilities, I am not in the position to quit if I want to. It's easy to get lost in all of that, and forget to do the things you love. For a while, I forgot what it was like to go outside and lay under a tree, and watch the light flicker through the branches. It's one of my favorite things to do; it makes me feel whole, and small, and connected with God, and at peace at the same time.

Being a "grown up" made me understand what can happen to people if they let time pass, and work day in and day out, and get into a routine, and begin to forget who they are personally. Work is a part of life; an important one at that--but I've been so encouraged lately to stay active, or rather, start to be active again, to work on my music and my art, and to go outside. I feel so strongly that I need to keep on doing what I've always done: to write, and express myself, and enjoy myself. I say this because this past year was one of the most challenging I have ever had, not because of my marriage (which was, by the way, FANTASTIC) but because of feeling like a free spirit, a songbird, in a dark cage with no way out. There's always a way. It's easier said than really understood and taken into practice; I can attest to that.

I can see now, progressing onto a new stage in life, that there is time and place for everything, and that when it seems like you just can't bear it anymore, something, or everything changes. For me, it was a something that meant everything, and that was my job. I have a good feeling about this next chapter, though, so stay tuned. I think I'll be back soon.

1 comment:

Maxy said...

I hope you'll come back soon. You da bomb.